Yesterday was rough; I don't know what was going on with me. I could NOT stop thinking about my brother and kept breaking down in tears. I wish I knew what triggered it because I was not prepared for it at all. This morning I had Pandora playing in my car, had my Smashing Pumpkins 'station' playing, which plays SP of course, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Weezer, etc. I'm enjoying this the past few days. Well, right in the middle of all that, I hear "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong, which just seems completely out of place, but it's a favorite of mine, so I'm singing along like I always do. Then it dawned on me that maybe it's playing for a reason. Like, snap out of it girl, your brother may not be alive, but you are and dammit, it IS a wonderful world if you choose to see it and live it. And the song has more meaning than that to me, but I'll just leave it at that or I'll start sobbing again. It's a new day and I plan to enjoy it, just as my brother would want me to. Even if it rains all day again! Let it frickin rain on me, I'll just play in the mud! That's what I say now anyway. Later I might be singing a different tune, but it sounds good, right? Much better than feeling sorry for myself.
~Diane
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